ceinwyn81 (ceinwyn81) wrote,

  • Mood:

Hands and I WANT MY HEIDI!

Ugh... Why is it that everytime I make a stir-fry my hands smell funky. I think it's the bean sprouts. It's really irritating. I washed my hands twice and the smell is still there. I put lotion on to try to cover it up and low and behold the smell won. Very annoying.

Some good news! Tomorrow after work I will be driving to Galesburg. Why? Well! To go pick up some paperwork from Carl Sandburg College so I can stop working these piece of shit minimum wage jobs that have me ready to scream and kill myself.

Then Tuesday I shall be meeting up with Beth to have some lunch together. I need to sorta rekindle the friendship. I need friends outside of this house with Paul. I love Paul muchly but really I need to do something. I will admit that I am craving some Heidi time. I miss Heidi so much. She really is the bestest friend I have ever had and I am glad for the time I had with her. No she hasn't died or anything I know it sounds like she has with the way I am talking. I just wish that Illinois isn't So damn fucking far away! There is no friendship like mine and hers and I really don't want to replace it with another. Aha! so there it is folks.. the reason I am a shut in. I am scared. I just don't want to feel like I am trying to re-create a friendship like ours. Ah well. I will see Heidi sometime. I hope. I'll go fucking crazy. No one deals with my weirdness like she does. AND GOD DAMMIT I NEED SOMEONE I CAN BE WEIRD WITH! If you don't know me well enough to know what that means... then I will explain... I am crazy, Silly, and eccentric. Obviously. SO yeah. Paul can only deal with so much of it! lol

And I ranted... After lunch with Beth I am going off to the Planned Parenthood to get some more pills! Still on the NO BABIES kick ^_^
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